Single Mothers: Challenges They Face

The world of single mothers is a world full of pride and joy, but also responsibilities and challenges. Single mothers face even more challenges, as they go through this process on their own.

Beyond the time you spend raising your child or children, other factors pose a challenge for single mothers. And, because of this, the best option is to always be prepared for everything that comes.

For these reasons, I want to teach you everything you need to know about the challenges every single mom must face. Do not miss this post and discover some of the most complicated challenges in single motherhood.

Single Mothers: What are your challenges?

As I have already stated, single mothers have several challenges they must face and overcome. Having a child requires a total change in daily life. Now, if we imagine carrying out this task on our own, it is a tremendous responsibility.

Whether it’s a breakup, self-decision or some other similar situation, being a single mother requires a lot of attention to detail and amazing strength. Therefore, we want to help you identify challenges in time and provide an appropriate resolution.

Next, we will look at the challenges of single mothers that can become more relevant in your day to day life. Take a look.

1.   Going through and overcoming grief

Regardless of the problem that caused the breakup with your partner, this is a fact and it is necessary to go through it and overcome it in the best possible way. The grief that arises from a breakup always leaves some scars.

But the important thing is how you decide to heal those marks and fight to move forward. In the end, your family, made up of you and your child, is a real family, and many single-parent families do well with the support of relatives and community.

Working through this loss matters for you, and it also helps you accompany your son or daughter when they go through their own struggles.

You will have more experience to draw on when these situations come. Not to mention that you can be present in the here and now to add to your child’s well-being and quality of life.

2.   Step forward in the face of social stigmas and criticism

For single mothers who have experience, this is not a surprise. Some people treat single mothers with unfair judgment.

For society, being single means being incomplete when it comes to educating and raising a child. However, a study of single mothers by choice, presented in 2017, found that children aged 1.5 to 6 were doing as well as children in two-parent families in behavior and in the parent-child relationship. It covered one group of single-parent families, so it does not describe every situation. A God-led mother can be a great blessing in her children’s lives.

Therefore, you should know that criticism and stigma only represent ignorance. Anyone can criticize without knowing the situation 100 percent, but the only person who knows what you’re doing for your child is yourself.

Ignoring criticism and stigma or simply overcoming them will go a long way in coping with the responsibility in front of you. Your decisions will be supported by your strength and knowledge, not to mention that you will be able to focus on what truly matters: your son or daughter.

3.   Acknowledge that you are not both figures

To succeed as a single mother, you need to understand that you don’t represent both sides of authority and education figures. Children benefit from having several caring, stable adults in their lives, and you can look for them among relatives, friends and your community; the absence of a father does not mean that you should take his place.

You can adapt, do your best, and be responsible, but taking on the other role is not good. Hiding this absence from your child or minimizing it can bring more questions and confusion.

Strength and sincerity with yourself and your child, in this case, are extremely important. Your performance and effort should be measured in your responsibilities, not in the responsibilities of others.

You can be the best mother in the world without having to have someone next to you or impersonate a father.

4.   Economic autonomy

We can romanticize the challenges faced by single mothers, but certainly not this specific challenge. Financial stability matters, and it is not always easy to reach. Look for resources, community support and trustworthy advice, and know that there is no shame in asking for help.

We know that it is not an easy task to complete, nevertheless, the most important thing is always to take the first step and face all the challenges. Money is always a challenge to overcome, even more so when another life depends on it. Remember: “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing” (Psalm 23:1, NIV).

5.   Giving purpose to your life beyond motherhood

It is true that motherhood will occupy much of your time and that this life is full of responsibilities to the little ones.

But this doesn’t mean you limit your life to your child and that’s it. Before becoming a mother, you are a person, and every person needs to have moments of relaxation. Having friends, family, or moments of peace is valid.

Then, the most important thing is the help from the one who created you and made you a mother. Scripture says, “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3, NIV), and he is interested in your well-being. To be successful as a single mother, your must optimize your experiences and value each of them as much as possible.

Being a Single Mother: A Beautiful Challenge

Now you know more about some of the challenges that single mothers must face and overcome. It only remains to soak up knowledge and apply what you have learned so that you can develop your day-to-day in the best possible way.

Certainly, this is a challenge, but it is also one of the most beautiful, complex and amazing life experiences you will have.

Which of these challenges feels heaviest for you right now, and who could share the load with you this week?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

Sources

  • ScienceDaily (2017), report on a study of single mothers by choice presented at the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (link in the text). The study compared 69 single mothers by choice with 59 mothers in two-parent families.
  • Scripture: NIV (Psalm 23:1; Psalm 127:3), via BibleGateway.

How to love your partner the way he/she needs to be loved

Love is a word of great meaning and responsibility. Everyone thinks they know what love your partner means, but they will face setbacks on more than one occasion in their lives. Showing the love you feel for your spouse is not as easy as you might expect because he or she may speak a completely different love language from you.

What is a love language? Imagine the following scenario: tomorrow is your spouse’s birthday. For that occasion, as you love big celebrations, you prepare a surprise party for him/her. You spend time organizing it, invite all his/her friends and try your best to make it the night of his/her life.

But what happens if your spouse does not like large gatherings? He/she is introverted and prefers to be around fewer people. Thus, it becomes evident that husband and wife are not speaking the same love language.

How can you figure out what language is being used? How many types of love languages are there? I want to go more in depth with you into this matter and much more.

How to love your partner?

In order to love your partner the way he/she needs to be loved, we must first understand what love is.

Love is a powerful feeling of affection, which is shown in different ways. There are millions of points of views regarding love and getting them all to converge is complicated.

Love can be expressed in so many ways that some of them could cause disappointment — disappointment from not receiving the answer you expect from your partner.

When a man and a woman are satisfied with the love they feel and the way they communicate, that’s great news. In fact, it is God’s plan for us, to be on the same page in our marriages, that we are happy with each other. However, this is not the reality for all marriages.

If you do not feel satisfied with the way your spouse offers you his/her love, I recommend that you start an appropriate talk with him/her about this matter. Both of you must understand the importance of synchronizing the ways in which you feel loved. How does your partner feel most loved? You will find out by discovering the love languages.

Love languages

One of the most essential lessons you must learn to love your partner the way he/she wants to be loved is determining which love language he/she uses. You may not have heard of them, but they are preferences that every person has when it comes to receiving and showing love. Not only does it apply in a loving relationship, but it also applies in other types of relationships, such as family relationships or friendships.

According to writer Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. This is a popular framework rather than a scientific test, but many couples find it a helpful way to start a conversation about how each person feels loved. The main idea is to find out which languages each of you prefers and use that to care for one another. They are:

1.    Words

There are people who are able to express their love through words. Expressing your affection through words of love, congratulations, words of support, or kindness has a great positive effect on the other person. The words that were just a simple compliment for you are, perhaps, for your wife, the recognition she expects.

In order to express yourself through this language, you can use direct and meaningful words. For example: “I love you so much” or “You are special to me.” Do not use words that you do not really feel, they have to come from the bottom of your heart, be credible, and you must say them in the right context. If you do not feel comfortable talking like this, maybe this is not your favorite love language.

2.    Quality time

The world seems to be going faster than we can handle. Therefore, do not waste time and show your love to your loved ones by giving them quality time. You can share more of your day-to-day with them, just focusing on them.

The less rush and fewer distractions you have, the higher the quality of what you are doing will be. It may not seem important, but it is very important if you think about it.

3.    Gifts

I do not mean that love can be measured by the price of a material gift, but that certain gifts can show dedication and love.

For example, if your wife has been exhausted lately due to her routine, giving her a spa day so she can relax would be an option. Or, if your husband constantly complains about his desk always being unstable, giving him a new one would be an excellent gift. In both cases, the spouses are thinking about their other partner’s well-being, about what he/she needs. Thus, it is considered one of the love languages.

4.    Acts of service

Doing acts of service like cleaning, cooking, and fixing things is one of the many love languages. These acts of service are not done with the hope of receiving something in exchange, they are not mandatory. However, doing them will make the one you love smile.

The food your mother prepared for you, or your father repairing your old bicycle over and over again, were both ways in which they were expressing their love to you.

5.    Physical contact

Finally, the simplest and most direct form of communication is physical contact. From touching, caressing, or kissing, it is normal for couples to show their love this way. Even so, showing physical affection such as pats on the shoulder or hugs are also a good way to show your love to your children, family members or friends.

How do I identify what my partner likes?

In order to find out how to love your partner and what he/she prefers, first you need to understand what love language you speak. How do you prefer to receive love? How do you tend to express it? Think about how you react to different love languages because you will need to tell the one you love.

Invite your partner to open up to you and to be honest about the gestures of love that he/she likes the most. To really love is to care about your partner’s feelings as much as you care about your own. Only in that way can we understand its power. Love is definitely a language we can all speak.

Which love language do you think you speak most, and have you ever asked your spouse which one they hear best?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

6 Ways to Love Others

It is not easy to define love, nor is it easy to learn to express it in the right ways. Really loving someone is to make a commitment that involves more than just words — it involves actions and shows real ways to love.

Trying to find the definition of love would mean continually talking about a subject we should know perfectly, thanks to the fact that the greatest example of love is being given to us by our Lord every day of our lives. He knows our flaws, mistakes, and desires. With all that, He still loves us.

Ways to love others

Love can see beyond imperfections. It can become our inspiration and guide. But I regularly find that my patients are unable to express their love to their spouses, their life partners, and to those with whom they share a family. Why is this happening? Because something very interesting happens with love. It is not enough just to feel it, it is also necessary to show it. That is why there are so many ways to love.

I want to talk to you about some efficient ways to show love to your spouse, your children, mother/father, or in general, to any person you appreciate.

1.    Listen to them without judging

When you love someone, you need to focus on that person, on giving him/her your full attention, and listen to him/her carefully. Throughout my career, I have found that some of the deepest hurts in broken marriages are related to poor communication or lack of attention on the part of the other person.

If your partner asks you to put your cell phone away so that he/she can talk to you, what you must do is to put it away and listen to your partner as he/she asks. Also, it must be internalized that there is a time for each thing. It is not good to pretend to listen to your spouse when your head is still focused on work. Couple conversations are sacred, do not take them lightly regardless of how superfluous they may seem.

Likewise, if, for example, your son or daughter comes to you to talk about the problems he/she may be having at school, it is your duty to listen to him/her without judging him/her. Offer advice when it is welcome, and show him/her that he/she will always have your support.

2.    Use the power of your words

Some people are more absent-minded than others. Some people do not understand all the love languages. Therefore, make sure you are showing the love you feel in an evident way by expressing it in direct words. It is one of the most basic ways to love.

You do not have to start an elaborate or a very eloquent speech about how deep your love is, but, nevertheless, saying how much your partner or friend means to you, how grateful you are that he/she is part of your life, is important. Those are the kinds of gestures that do not cost you great effort, but that meaningful person will surely remember them more than once during the day.

3.    Give him/her space

Another curious way to love someone is by respecting his/her limits. I say “curious” because some people have the idea that to love is not to be apart from the loved one. But, setting boundaries means recognizing where one person ends and the other one begins. Understanding that everyone has their own needs and desires is healthy.

There is nothing wrong with taking time to be alone or letting your loved one to take time to be alone too. Something similar happens when two friends do not share the same hobby. It is not harmful to enjoy different hobbies. This is one of the many ways to love.

4.    Ask the other person how he/she wants to be loved

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:12, NIV) Our Lord invites us to love one another, but have you thought about how each person is unique in their very own way? Not everyone sees the world the same way, we do not all feel the same way, and that is not a bad thing.

The error is to assume that we own the absolute truth, when we actually do not own it. Your partner may not like certain displays of affection in public or a certain attitude you have towards him/her. You should learn about those aspects, and speaking truthfully is the fastest way to get to this point.

Having regular talks with your partner about these kinds of matters will be rewarding for both of you. It is something you can also apply in any relationship you have with someone you appreciate. Talk more frequently with your loved ones and you will be surprised at what you will discover about them.

5.    Show them your gratitude

Showing gratitude can benefit our well-being and our relationships. Apply this fact to your relationships and take the necessary time to thank those you love. It doesn’t matter if you’re expressing it for small things, like washing the dishes or taking out the trash. What matters is expressing how grateful we are for their gesture. No one wants to feel ignored by their partner or someone they love.

6.    Dedicate time

Hanging out with your partner or children is not the same as spending quality time with them. Due to the pace of life and the fact that they are your family, you will spend a lot of time together. However, how much of that time is devoted exclusively to them?

We all need attention and time to talk about ourselves. So, it is impossible to compare spouses who are having dinner alone with a couple with their children included in the picture. The reality is that we waste a lot time being distracted by the TV, helping our children with their homework, or doing other activities that disconnect us and prevent warmer communication.

As a couple, do more activities that help your intimacy grow. It could be cooking together or going for a walk in each other’s company. In the case of children, practicing an outdoor sport or reading the Sacred Scriptures as a family will be sharing quality time.

Who in your life most needs to hear today how much they mean to you?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

Exercises to overcome obsessive thoughts

Concerns and fears are swirling around everywhere in your head. If this sounds like you, then you must know the power of obsessive thoughts. That kind of thoughts that affect us so much. However, it is not healthy to live tied to them, so we must overcome obsessive thoughts.

Although most of us may experience obsessive thoughts, the problem is that when we consider battling against them, the first idea might be to suppress or eliminate them. This is counterproductive and will not work as well as you hope. They will end up coming back, stronger than they were in the beginning.

 

How do I deal with my obsessive thoughts?

 

To overcome obsessive thoughts effectively, it is better to apply some potential methods to fight them. Social psychologist Daniel Wegner studied and published several tools for this purpose in American Psychologist, which we will talk about below.

Focused distraction

We start with a simple exercise to overcome obsessive thoughts, focused distraction. This consists of disconnecting your mind from the source of concerns by focusing on something else that distracts you. Your mind can select from millions of topics that will help you relieve yourself.

You can also choose to wander and get lost in your sea of thoughts, which is not recommended because it is considered unproductive. The best thing to do then is to focus on doing a household chore, watching an educational TV show, listening to a music, etc. The main idea is to give the mind a goal because minds without goals are often associated with unhappiness.

Postpone for later

A method that remains just as intuitive is to postpone the thought for later. Many studies have proven that suppressing thoughts only causes them to return with more intensity. However, postponing them can be a relief for the mind.

It works like this: set aside a time of the day to give free rein to your obsessive thoughts. This time cannot exceed 30 minutes, but the rest of the day you will need to save all those worries for that limited time. With practice, you will see how this becomes a habit, and you will be able to get rid of the obsessive thoughts whenever you want to do so.

Writing on paper

Writing about anything in your life as a method of liberation gives wonderful results. Therefore, one of the exercises is directly related to fighting against obsessive thoughts and writing.

How does it work? Write openly about your obsessive thoughts, about all those thoughts you have. Include also your deepest feelings, and write, in general, anything you wish to say about the subject.

Getting rid of all that negativity on paper and transporting the thoughts inside your head to reality, to something tangible, will help you feel better. It might even help you not think about them for the rest of the day.

Self-affirmation

We all have good and bad things about us as the imperfect human beings that we are. However, it is a habit for some people to prioritize talking only about the bad things. No one knows our imperfections or weaknesses better than we do, but as an exercise for our well-being, it is advisable to use self-affirmation to overcome obsessive thoughts.

Meditate more often on your positive traits and features. It is something that will help you have better self-control and social confidence. The next time you remember how worried you are about your job, change that thought to a more grateful and optimistic one.

 

More alternatives to know

 

Dwelling on obsessive thoughts can still be fought with other techniques that I consider to be very efficient. The best thing about them is that they are accessible and simple to put into practice with little effort. These are some of my favorites:

  • Christian Meditation: Christian meditation is about focusing on the thought of God and His Word. By meditating, we are expressing a type of prayer, and not only that, but understanding the power behind its lessons. We also learn about the importance of a compassionate and merciful attitude towards our neighbors. “Who do I have in heaven but you? If I am with you, I want nothing more on earth. My body and my spirit may fail, but God strengthens my heart; he is my eternal inheritance” – Psalm 73:25-26.
  • Exercise: When you feel exhausted from so many obsessive thoughts, I suggest you go for a long walk or exercise in whatever way you like. You will be doing your body good, but beyond that, going outdoors will help you appreciate the nuances of life, the beauty of nature, the small miracles that we are not able to see in our routines because we are more focused on negative thoughts.
  • Talk to a friend: We all need to be listened to and having someone close to us listening to our concerns will help both unburden their worries and to get advice from a more objective point of view. We will then be able to organize our ideas in a better way and have a more realistic view of our life.

 

When is it time to seek professional help?

 

As common as obsessive thoughts can be, they may be part of the symptoms of certain mental disorders such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

In this particular case, people feel overwhelmed by their thoughts. They have no control over them and the way they relieve themselves is through compulsive actions. For example, washing their hands, counting, cleaning, etc. Obsession and compulsion are related, obviously, but the person will not be able to break it.

Likewise, these thoughts, especially those related to the past and extreme pessimism about the future, are characteristic of Major Depression. There are other disorders are generalized anxiety and post-traumatic stress. Therefore, if one suspects the presence of any of these, the wisest thing to do is to seek professional help.

 

Do you feel you need professional assistance? Call (407) 559-7093

How can I manage my obsessive thoughts?

Obsessive thoughts or automatic negative thoughts are often associated with anxiety disorders as well as major depression. But they are not exclusive to those conditions.

Do you feel like you cannot let go of certain thoughts? High stress rates and an uncertain future are compelling reasons to explain everything that is happening with these kinds of thoughts.

If you do not know how to deal with obsessive thoughts, I will ask you not to be too hard on yourself. Sometimes, even if the effort to eliminate them is a great one, it is not enough. This is a situation that will only serve to generate worry and despair.

Why can’t I ever find peace of mind? Why can’t I make them stop? Is there something wrong with me? I wish to deepen on these doubts together.

 

What are obsessive thoughts?

 

A simple way to understand what an obsessive thought is, is as a mental content of a threatening, automatic and unwanted nature. Obsessive thoughts can be represented as images or words.

People dealing with obsessive thoughts might also focus on events in the future or re-experience the past. What makes these kinds of thoughts so exhausting is that they are accompanied by very complicated and intense emotions, which sooner or later will end up exhausting your resources.

When your brain is facing threats, physiological fear responses are common. However, the stimulus that provokes this fear is not actually there, it wanders back and forth in your head, which is what gives it that exhausting persistence.

In fact, your sympathetic nervous system, which is part of the autonomic nervous system, will interpret this as a direct experience. It activates all the necessary resources for fight or flight. This is where anxiety will appear.

 

How to manage obsessive thoughts

 

Obsessive thoughts are difficult to manage. You will need willpower, discipline, and a lot of faith. Trying to manage our feelings will make us fight against our own mental resources, those that we often do not even know exist.

God supports us even when we believe that He is not, that He has forgotten us and that we will be unable to overcome adversity.

I know that you are worried about the future. I know that the past has hurt you. However, I want you to understand that the first step to battling obsessive thoughts is to not be afraid. Instead, you need to learn what they are about, why they are there and what those unresolved conflicts you have inside are.

Do you find yourself trapped in them? You are not alone. Uncertainty and anxiety about the future may keep you awake at night, and it is understandable.

How can I control it? Here are some lessons that I hope will help you.

Obsessive thoughts are like quicksand

Metaphors help us to internalize concepts that we are not yet able to fully understand. The same happens with obsessive thoughts. So, I want you to look at them as if they were a quicksand trap. It is a comparison that speaks for itself.

When you fall into quicksand, your survival instinct will make you move desperately, trying to get out of it. However, you will not succeed, you will only sink deeper. The same happens with the dreaded obsessive thoughts. The only successful way to get out of them will be to calm down, accept that you are in a dangerous zone, and measure your every move in order to escape.

Fighting a negative thought directly will not be a win. First, you must accept that you have the thought and analyze it for about 20 minutes. When the time is up, concentrate on another activity, and then spend the same amount of time on your obsessive thought. Little by little, you will find a way out of it and relieve yourself.

Letting your emotions flow will give you calm

We talk a lot about emotions, how they affect us and identify us as the human beings we are. However, something you need to know is that, in order to manage obsessive thoughts properly, you must strive to let your emotions flow.

Accept that you feel bad, let this feeling flow, even if it brings a tear or two to your eyes. At some point, you will realize that these types of emotions wear off, and the pain will go away. For example, if you get bitten by a mosquito on your neck, you will want to scratch it, but by not doing so you will protect your skin and avoid aggravating the situation.

We need to embrace our emotions more, not silence them or pretend to make them stop because we do not like how weak they make us feel. Not being strong 365 days a year is not a weakness or a sin.

God is our refuge

In times of uncertainty, remembering our Lord’s presence will help ease the burdens we have upon us. Do not forget that He is in control of everything, and that He is always protecting us.

“God is our refuge and our strength, our sure help in times of trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth crumble and the mountains sink to the bottom of the sea.” – Psalm 46:1-2.

When an obsessive thought threatens you again, try to distract your mind by reading the Holy Scriptures. Take refuge in the lessons and wisdom they offer. As you find the calm you have been searching for, you can share your reflections with your family and friends, so that together you can understand how great God’s mercy is.

If it is not enough for you, apply what you have learned. Do not wait for solutions to come and take control of your life. Look for more activities through which you can give back the mercy of our Lord.

Don’t know how to start managing your obsessive thoughts yet? You can call (407) 559-7093 for more answers.

How do family rituals help strengthen bonds?

Family rituals are important to a family’s well-being and health, especially in an era in which it is hard to spend quality time together because of the demands of work and school.

If you are a parent who worries because you do not spend enough time with your children, or who finds it difficult to have fun together, family rituals can help you strengthen your bond.

A review of 50 years of research on family routines and rituals, published in the Journal of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (APA) and summarized in this APA release, links routines and rituals with a stronger sense of identity in adolescents, better health in children, better academic outcomes, and closer family relationships. The authors also pointed out limits in the research, so these findings describe associations, not guarantees.

Family rituals vs. family routines

The review was written by psychologist Barbara H. Fiese, Ph.D., and her colleagues. They describe rituals as a kind of symbolic communication about who the family is, and they leave emotional traces in the memory of those who experience them. Their meaning often depends on their continuity through generations.

This is what differentiates rituals from family routines, which are more practical communication about what has to be done and are more of a momentary commitment.

Still, any family routine has the potential to become a ritual when it moves from being a practical act to a symbolic one.

To explain the difference more practically, when we talk about family routines, we are dealing with daily living activities, such as household chores, setting a reading time, or visiting relatives.

Family rituals, on the other hand, are more focused on special dates and special situations, such as Sunday activities, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Easter. Likewise, funerals, and the way we face the end of life in light of the teachings of Our Lord.

The size of your family and rituals

The size and makeup of your family influence the shape of your routines and rituals. In some families one adult leads mealtime; in others the role is shared; and in families with only one parent, that adult carries it all.

Regardless of your family’s composition, shared mealtimes give everyone a regular chance to listen to each other and to get to know each other better. They can also help us grow in patience with each other’s characteristics.

I know your family is busy, the older ones with their jobs or college and the younger ones with school. Even so, a shared meal, even a quick one, offers something that is hard to replace.

Think of it this way: a meal does not have to be long. Is it so difficult to gather together for a short while? It is not, if you intentionally set that time aside for your family. It does not even have to be every day of the week. Start with the meals that are realistic for your family.

Why are family rituals so important?

Family rituals are created as a way to celebrate, to bond, and to highlight the special ties that bind us together. But in my opinion, the most important aspect is the power they have to create new experiences and positive memories for everyone. Rituals can nurture connections in the family and give a sense of belonging that is hard to find anywhere else.

This can be especially meaningful in childhood, a delicate time in life when we seek to understand who we are and why we belong to the family. What is it that we share? What is the message it has? Why is it special? These are all very important questions to answer.

By taking part in a family ritual, your child can feel part of something important and extraordinary that makes them unique and proud. Because these activities are familiar, they can also help your child feel more confident and comfortable.

The benefits of family rituals

Do you still have doubts about whether continuing family rituals or creating new ones is a good idea? The holiday season is a good time to think about it, since Christmas invites reflection and sharing as a family more than other times of the year.

  • They help create good memories: Family rituals are a source of fond memories that can last a lifetime. The more attention and dedication you give to them, the more inclined your children will be to continue them.
  • They provide safety through their structure: Rituals are rituals because they follow a certain pattern each time they are performed. Because they are so predictable, they help children feel confident and secure.
  • They give the family a sense of belonging: We all want to belong to something, and in a family it is the rituals that give us a unique character and the feeling of being part of something.
  • Other benefits: Rituals offer a way to transmit family and Christian values and to keep several generations connected.

What is one small ritual your family already has that you could protect, and make a little more meaningful, this month?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

Sources

  • Fiese, B. H., et al. (2002). A review of 50 years of research on naturally occurring family routines and rituals: cause for celebration? Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 381-390. PubMed; APA press release.

All you need to know about family rituals

During this Christmas season, family rituals take on more importance than ever. December is a month to share in community, to celebrate Christian values and virtues, and to strengthen loving bonds with the people who matter most to us.

One way I like to describe family rituals is as the traditions that make us who we are and for which we are grateful. Many rituals originate with our great-grandparents and grandparents, as well as with the festivities of our own country and culture or those of our ancestors.

How can I strengthen family rituals? Which are the most popular or positive ones? Is it time to change old traditions? We have a lot to talk about on this topic.

What are family rituals?

Family rituals or rites are traditions that are inherited in the family. They are based on the beliefs that family members share and, most commonly, are passed down from generation to generation. As a parent, if you associate a certain ritual with positive memories and good times, you will be more likely to continue it with your children.

As a family leader, you are able to create new rituals and design new ways to both entertain and educate your children.

I like it when family members use their own traditions to build healthy, loving, and beneficial habits for everyone. Even if no one outside the family understands them, they remain a gesture that is associated with the image of family togetherness.

Some of the most common family rituals

The world is full of perspectives and ways of looking at life, so you may be surprised to learn how many families practice the same rituals, just with a different face.

For example, using affectionate nicknames or code words that only your family understands, greetings with hand games in different forms, or Scripture reading sessions. You can also prepare a special meal together on birthdays or go on vacation to a place that is important to you at a certain time of the year.

All of these activities can vary so much in frequency, timing, and the ways in which they are done that they become common, but also unique to each family.

There are many other kinds of family traditions, such as volunteering in your community during summer vacations, taking photographs in the same pose on a certain date, picking fruits and vegetables in the garden, or having a board game night once a week.

Creativity has no limits, and as you have seen, each of these activities is meaningful, healthy, and can create precious family moments.

The important thing is that family rituals bring good values to your children and other family members. No one wants a ritual that makes them feel uncomfortable or uninterested. They are meant to foster security, a sense of belonging, and self-identity.

Some of the best Christmas family rituals

For us Christians, Christmas is a time full of family rituals everywhere you look. Each year we celebrate Jesus Christ’s coming into the world, and it is a date generally abundant in symbolism and new opportunities.

Therefore, it is a good time to reinforce our traditions as followers of God, faithful to His Word.

Which Christmas family rituals correspond to these purposes?

  • Attending Christmas services as a family.
  • Studying verses that speak of the birth of Jesus.
  • Preparing food baskets for people in need in your community.
  • Writing letters full of good feelings and wishes for loved ones who will be far away.
  • Watching the family’s favorite Christmas movies.
  • Preparing your family’s traditional Christmas dishes.
  • Assembling the Christmas tree together, each choosing a part of the decoration that year.

How do I create my own rituals?

There aren’t many rules when it comes to creating your own family rituals, so I want to give you some useful tips on how to make them a reality:

  • Try to get everyone to like it: Sometimes children will find it difficult to embrace these traditions because they do not understand the meaning behind them. But even if the first few times are difficult, as a parent you can think about activities you know they will appreciate in the long run. Think about everyone in your family before considering a new ritual.
  • Do them frequently: Unless it is, for example, a Christmas ritual, repeat these traditions frequently so that they become a habit. When it comes to Christmas rituals, do not settle for doing them only every other year; consistency is the key.
  • Make it fun: Childhood is a wonderful time to introduce family rituals, because they become part of children’s memories from very tender moments. However, do not complicate things when creating new rituals. The basic principle is that they are fun. And, if possible, let there be something new to learn each time they are performed.

How do I know if I should change a family ritual?

Your children will grow up, and as the years go by you will notice that some family rituals are not as easy to perform as they were when the children were younger. Maybe your teenage son finds that special greeting you and he had a little too much to do in public anymore, or your teenage daughter gets tired of watching the same movies every year.

Maybe they want to spend more time with their friends on vacations, or maybe, because of a change in your job, you will need to work on weekends. These are changes that life brings.

Is this the end of family rituals? No. We can look for new schedules that suit everyone and modify the activities that are no longer welcome. For example, if the greeting is too flashy for your son, you can simply modify it to be more modest. Or you can look together with your daughter for new Christmas movies that she might like.

I know it will make you nostalgic when a consensus is reached to completely modify some of the rituals, but it is inevitable and very necessary in order to follow their basic principle, which is that everyone should feel at home, grateful for the blessing of having the family they have.

Which tradition in your family is worth keeping just as it is, and which one could use a gentle update so that everyone feels at home?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

Positive parenting: 5 tips to be a more positive parent

Under the principles of Positive Parenting, we will have three main goals for our children: to transmit our Christian values, to prepare them for adult life, and to protect their safety, including their health.

These are purposes any parent can easily identify with, as it is our mission to protect and educate our children. However, the relationship with your child may be at a delicate point, or perhaps you feel that he or she is moving away from you.

If you think this is your case, do not be discouraged, because there are practical steps that can help. Positive Parenting can help your child feel more secure and cooperate more, and it often benefits the parent as well.

Positive parenting: It all starts with you

Before I start giving you tips on applying Positive Parenting in your home, I want to clarify a very important point. For the lessons of positive parenting to have the desired effect, you need to be the first one to work on it.

How can you do this? The first thing you must do is commit to regulating your own emotions. We are so immersed in our own conflicts that we let them affect our children when they should not. When you lose your patience, you can repair it with a sincere apology.

The second thing is to be committed to and prioritize the father-child or mother-child connection. If you forget the commitments you made, why should a child respect them? You lead, you set the example. They cooperate and follow your lead.

Thirdly, the love and affection you give your children should never, I repeat, never be paused as a form of punishment, nor used as a way of controlling or manipulating. You are there to be a guide, to be a coach who, regardless of what happens, will continue to care about what happens to your children.

Tips for practicing Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting values reflection, fluid communication, and, above all, love between parents and children. But how do I apply all this in my family? Here are some tips that I know you will find very useful:

1. Evaluate all the teachings you are giving them

Applying Positive Parenting is much more than just committing to not yelling at your child when he or she misbehaves. It is much more than that. It requires restructuring your relationship. You need to carefully evaluate your behavior with your children based on whether it strengthens or weakens your relationship with them.

Considering that strengthening bonds is your main focus, think of your disciplinary strategy as a way to tighten your relationship with them. When a child feels attached to his or her parents, it is natural for him or her to want to please them.

Instead of punishing, it is your job to guide them to respect the limits you set. An important detail when setting limits is that you have to be realistic about their abilities. Do not forget to be empathetic with them and help them focus on improving their behavior.

Be careful with punishments: harsh or frequent punishment tends to generate fear and resentment and does little to teach the behavior we want. Physical punishment and humiliation have no place in this approach.

2. Teach them to regulate their emotions

Because of their lack of experience and their level of development, it is easy for children to be controlled by their emotions. It is often hard for them to identify what they are feeling or why they behave a certain way at times.

But you, as a parent, can help them. It is your role to explain what they feel in words that fit their level of understanding. Let them know that they are able to learn to control themselves and improve their behaviors.

3. Corrections should always reaffirm your connection

Children are more likely to misbehave when they feel bad about themselves or when they feel disconnected from us. That is why it is so vital to reaffirm how connected we are, so they feel confident enough to talk about what is bothering them, to be honest with you when they misbehave, and to listen to your suggestions.

For example, if your younger child pushes your older one, stand at their level and talk to them while looking into their eyes. You can tell them as you take this position: “You do not have to push your brother. Pushing is wrong, you can hurt him or cause him to fall. Next time, ask him to move and say please.”

Or if you know that your daughter ate all the cookies in the kitchen, instead of accusing her in front of the whole family, take a moment alone, put your hand on her shoulder and say something like: “Are you afraid to tell me about the cookies? You know you can tell me everything.”

4. Set limits, but with empathy

Applying Positive Parenting in your home does not mean forgetting about limits. On the contrary, they are still very necessary. However, they must be set with empathy. As an authority figure, it is your duty to enforce the rules. But enforcing them is easier if the children know that their parents understand them and would not act to harm them.

Think about this: if limits make no sense to a child or hurt him or her, it will be hard to trust the person who sets them, however obedient the child is. Following this principle, the next time you set a limit, add sentences that validate your children’s feelings.

For example, if you tell your children to go to bed early, let them know that you understand how sad it makes them, but how necessary it is for them to do it. Or if they are afraid to face their guilt, explain to them that being afraid is normal and that it is more important to always tell the truth.

When there are physical fights between siblings, I advise you to intervene immediately; but once the conflict is calm, it will be time to empathize with both parties. Emphasize that hitting is not the solution and that problems can be solved more easily by talking.

5. The way you treat your children will shape the way they learn to treat themselves

Have you ever noticed how many adults who grew up with very harsh parents find it hard to believe in themselves? The way our parents treat us in childhood often shapes the way we see ourselves as adults.

That said, you have great influence in your hands. If you are hard on them, they tend to be hard on themselves, and if you are too permissive with them, they tend to be too permissive with themselves. The best option is to set appropriate boundaries, express them with love, and help them develop more positive self-perceptions.

When you discipline harshly, ironically, you are not raising perfect little soldiers. You may be raising children who find it harder to regulate themselves, who feel less free to be honest, and who carry more fear than confidence.

Discipline them constructively, understand them, love them, and let them know that Our Lord is with us always, taking care of us.

Which one of these five tips could you start practicing with your child this week?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

If you suspect child abuse

Florida Abuse Hotline (DCF): 1-800-962-2873, 24/7. You can also report online at reportabuse.myflfamilies.com/s/. It covers child abuse and abuse of vulnerable adults. If there is immediate danger, call 911.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

Discovering Positive Parenting: keys and benefits

One of the highest priorities we have as parents is positive parenting. It is a parenting principle that assumes that children are born with the desire to do the right thing, and that a good relationship with them is the best way to nurture that desire.

How you relate to them can influence their mental health and self-control. It can even influence their ability to create meaningful relationships with others.

Today, parents are encouraged to discard yelling as a way to correct their children and to replace it with clear explanations, encouragement, and limits. This kind of approach, more patient and sensitive to their emotional resources, is known as Positive Parenting.

But what does it entail? Do you know how to apply it and why? I would like to tell you more about it.

What is Positive Parenting?

Positive Parenting assumes that children are born with the desire to “do the right thing.” For that reason, mutual respect is key, along with the use of positive methods of discipline. Likewise, it is better to invest time in teaching proper behavior for the future than to spend it only punishing past misbehavior.

It is not a new parenting method. It draws on the ideas of the Viennese psychiatrists Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, whose work on respectful child guidance began in Vienna in the early twentieth century and was brought to the United States by Dreikurs, who emigrated there in 1937. As is evident, many years have passed, and Positive Parenting strategies have been improved over time.

I have seen repeatedly that modern parents who were raised with strict rules and violent punishments see Positive Parenting as an answer: a way to escape from this “chain” of actions, and a way to educate their children differently, in line with their values and beliefs.

Many parents today are sensitive to their children’s needs. Knowing what they need, according to their growth and development stages and their temperament, will help you get closer to them.

Keys to know regarding Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting promotes children’s personal development through various mechanisms. It also supports their pro-social development. Children raised under these principles can learn to regulate their emotions better and to channel their temper in more patient and productive ways.

Many of the skills children learn this way can go with them into later stages of their life, for example, improving the way they solve problems in adolescence.

Tools for Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting works best when it is practiced consistently at home. These are some of its main keys:

  • Leadership and confidence: Positive Parenting encourages both teaching and leadership in children, and these same values can boost their confidence, as they come to see themselves as more independent beings who are able to make good decisions.
  • Communication and social skills: With this parenting style, positive communication is used as a resource that can favor children’s social skills and improve their relationships with playmates, schoolmates, and caregivers.
  • Self-esteem: By giving your children a warm upbringing and age-appropriate choices, you help build their self-confidence.
  • Autonomy and creativity: By giving them the freedom they need to express their tastes and preferences, you are providing them with something invaluable: autonomy. Growing up in a home where they have responsibilities and rights promotes empowerment and self-determination, as well as creativity.

In general, there are many aspects of Positive Parenting that nurture desirable behaviors in our children. As Christian parents, we can appreciate this parenting style for the respect, understanding, and love it supports.

God does not want our homes to be battlefields, but a refuge to learn from His Word and to strengthen what is most essential in this life: the family.

Benefits of Positive Parenting

Raising your children with these principles can bring several benefits that may not be obvious to you at this time. They tend to become evident little by little as you apply them.

It should be noted that there is no specific age to apply Positive Parenting. You can do it once they take their first steps or much later in life if you have only recently learned of its existence.

What are the benefits of Positive Parenting, then?

Fewer behavioral problems

Positive Parenting encourages children’s emotional growth. This means that they can learn to manage their feelings better, and with this they may feel less need to misbehave to get your attention or as a form of protest.

It creates a more empathetic relationship between adults and children. This is quite the opposite of punitive parenting, which can contribute to behavioral problems. Children may perceive a harsh style as coldness or disinterest, and resentment and conflict can grow.

A better relationship between parents and children

Positive parents do not use yelling or hostile behaviors to correct their children’s misbehavior. Their dynamics are very different and are based on mutual respect and open communication.

Through Positive Parenting, it is possible to sit down and talk about what they did wrong, without the need for your children to fear you or shy away from facing their faults.

Mental well-being

A warm, respectful upbringing supports healthy self-esteem, because of the messages you convey to your children: that they are capable and intelligent enough to make their own decisions.

A confident child who is not afraid of “messing something up” can grow up more resilient, with a healthier mindset, capable of overcoming adversities. Such children know that their parents will back them up regardless of what happened.

Many parents also notice growth in their children’s school and social skills.

If your child’s behavior is severe or does not improve, or if you are worried about your child’s emotional health, a professional can help.

What is one thing you could change this week to show your child that you are on his or her side while still holding the limits?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

If you suspect child abuse

Florida Abuse Hotline (DCF): 1-800-962-2873, 24/7. You can also report online at reportabuse.myflfamilies.com/s/. It covers child abuse and abuse of vulnerable adults. If there is immediate danger, call 911.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

My husband is a sex addict: What do I do?

Being married to a sex addict is a complex and exhausting situation. The first thought a person might have is to give up on the marriage. However, is it advisable to classify all sexual addicts into one group?

God made men and women to be devoted to each other, in the biggest joys and the biggest sorrows. This is why my suggestion is that, first, you gather information regarding this matter and understand the possibilities within your reach.

I want you to understand that “sex addiction” is not a formal diagnosis in the DSM, and professionals disagree about the term; many describe it as compulsive sexual behavior, which can feel out of control to the person who lives it. Its causes are not fully understood and are not explained by a single factor. Suffering from any compulsive behavior is distressing, so, in cases as complex as these, the best thing to do is to take some time to reflect and learn about it.

Let us begin.

Seven things every sex addict’s partner should know

For someone to recover from compulsive sexual behavior, their own commitment to treatment is essential; a partner’s support can help, but the partner is not responsible for the recovery. I am not going to lie to you by saying it is easy. You are not obliged to stay where your safety or well-being is compromised, and the decision is yours.

Before making a decision, I recommend you consider these 7 statements that will help you open your eyes about this condition.

  1. Your suspicions might be real

It is difficult to admit that a husband has a sexual addiction, therefore, your first reaction might be denial. It is normal to feel this way, I witness it all the time. But when obvious signs appear, it is not healthy to deny them as though they were not there.

For example, if your husband seems depressed, and anxious, and he withdraws himself from others, including you, it is a sign that something is wrong, as well as when he disconnects from you emotionally and your mutual sex life is dying, when he avoids sexual intercourse with you or when he evades the issue of sexuality. These signs can have many causes, including stress, depression, health problems or other difficulties in the marriage, so they do not prove anything on their own.

If you talk with your husband about what you have noticed, do not expect a complete answer on the first try, and choose a time and place where you feel safe.

  1. It is not your fault

I am going to tell you this so that you can take it into account. You are not the one to be blamed for your husband’s sexual addiction. As an independent human being, he is free to make his own decisions regarding his sexual behavior, and the behavior may even have started before he married you.

I have worked with men who struggle with compulsive pornography use and hide it from their future wives out of shame. So, do not believe you are the cause of the problem. His distance from you is not a verdict on your appearance or your worth.

Women tend to have their self-esteem affected by this issue. And they develop a fear of being rejected, but this is useless when it comes to healing. Invite your husband to take responsibility for his behavior; you can support him, but you do not have to carry it for him.

  1. You cannot fix everything by yourself

You will not be able either to fix your husband’s behavior on your own, without his help. It is impossible. No one changes if he/she does not want to, and we are only capable of changing ourselves, not others.

Where am I going with this? Monitoring your husband constantly so that he does not fall into his addiction, to the point where you lose your own life, will not solve anything. The addict must want to improve himself and for you, for his family. You can ask that he seek professional help.

  1. It is healthy to admit your own feelings

You might be confused, sad, or angry in the face of having a husband who is a sex addict. You might experience all these stages at your own pace. Furthermore, you do not need to deny them or believe you are stronger than you are.

I want you to know that people can heal and let their feelings flow. If you feel like this is too much for you to deal with alone, seek other people’s support.

  1. Forgiving is not forgetting

You must not feel ashamed of trying to restore a marriage that was broken by sexual addiction. Forgiveness, if and when you are ready, can free you from resentment, and there is no deadline for it. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, and it does not mean trusting again before trust has been rebuilt.

You will not achieve anything positive by seeking revenge or a way to make your husband pay for his flaws, and forgiving him does not mean that you are renouncing your pain and grief. Forgiveness will free you from resentment and when it becomes too difficult for you to let it go, seek help for your emotional well-being.

  1. You are powerful

The decision to stay or to leave is in your hands. You are the one who has the power to set boundaries, fight together, or just take a path of healing in solitude.

You have control over your life, regardless of the decision you make. Whether you choose one option or the other, you will most likely need help. Remember, you must believe in yourself.

  1. You have worth

You have the right to have respect and love in your marriage. Maybe you do have flaws in your marriage, you are not perfect, but those flaws are not causing the sexual choices your husband is making. They do not define your worth.

If you feel that you are not enough, that it is your fault, know that none of those feeling are healthy for you. You do not have to feel fully confident to face this challenge; courage can grow one step at a time.

What do you do when your husband is a sex addict?

When you first find out that your husband is a sex addict, you do not have to decide right away: you can take time, get support and consider your options, including separating for a while, staying and working on the marriage, or leaving. If you choose the former, you must pay attention to your own needs and insecurities first. Forgiving a sexual betrayal can be traumatizing for some people.

These are some actions you can take if you decide to stay:

  • Turn to professionals: The main thing is to seek professional help and go together as a couple. Also, follow the recommendations with an open mind.
  • Look after your health: If your husband had sexual contact with other people, ask a physician about testing for sexually transmitted infections.
  • Take care of yourself: Take care of yourself mentally and physically. Work on your self-esteem, seek social support and exercise more, or practice a new hobby, for your well-being.
  • Do not have sexual intimacy with your husband until you get your confidence back. Do not push yourself to have sex with your partner after he betrayed you. Take your time to heal. Meanwhile, he can work on his own recovery with a professional or a recovery group until you are ready.
  • Do not assume the responsibility for your partner’s abstinence. If you are able to forgive your addict husband, who is walking the path to recovery, you do not have to be his babysitter. He, as a grown man, is responsible for controlling himself. He is also responsible for not breaking the promises he made so that you would stay by his side.

Last words when your husband is a sex addict

Working on sexual addiction is scary for any wife. But as long as there is a commitment from the husband’s side, life is  about second chances.

Do not forget that it is valid to have doubts about what is best for your case.

If at any point you feel pressured, threatened or forced into sex, or you are afraid of how your husband might react, that is not an addiction issue but a safety issue: please see the numbers below.

What do you most need right now: information, rest, or someone to talk to?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

If you are in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, do not wait. Call or text 988 (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24 hours a day, free and confidential). If there is immediate danger, call 911.

If there is violence in your home

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. These lines are free and confidential.

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. Available 24/7.
  • If you are thinking of harming yourself: call or text 988 (press 2 for Spanish).

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

Sources

  • Moral Revolution, “7 Things Every Spouse of a Sex Addict Should Know” (adapted; link in the text).
  • Josephs, L. (2018). “Is Your Husband a Sex Addict?” Psychology Today (link in the text).