How do family rituals help strengthen bonds?

Family rituals are important to a family’s well-being and health; especially in an era in which we struggle to spend more quality time together due to the demands of work or school.

If you are a parent who worries because you do not spend enough time with your children; or who finds it difficult to have fun together with your children, family rituals serve this purpose, strengthening your bond.

For the past 50 years, this claim has been verified in a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (APA). It concludes that family rituals can serve to strengthen adolescents’ sense of identity; children’s health, and even their academic achievements. Stronger family relationships are another advantage.

Family rituals vs. family routines

The study was reviewed by psychologist Barbara H. Fiese, Ph.D., and her colleagues at Syracuse University; who explain that rituals are seen as a type of symbolic communication and that they serve to transmit “what we are.” Their meaning depends on their continuity through generations; they leave emotional traces in the memory of those who experience them.

This is what differentiates it from family routines; for example, which are seen more as instrumental communication that conveys the message that “this is what has to be done”; and are more of a momentary commitment than anything else.

Still, any family routine has the potential to become a ritual as it moves from being an instrumental act to a symbolic one.

To explain the difference between one and the other more practically, consider that when we talk about family routines, we are dealing with daily living activities; such as household chores, setting a reading time, or visiting relatives.

Family rituals, on the other hand, are more focused on special dates and special situations; such as Sunday activities, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Easter. Likewise, funerals, and the way we understand the end of life according to the teachings of Our Lord.

The size of your family and rituals

The study states that the healthier the children are, the better they regulate their routines as a family. A fact you should also consider is that the size of your family influences the shape of family routines and rituals.

The study highlights how larger families need the father to play the role of leading mealtime; and that the mother’s leadership role is more evident in smaller families. In the same vein, in families with only one parent, that adult spends more time interacting with the children; much more time than in families of the same size with two parents.

Regardless of your family’s composition, the repetitive nature of mealtime allows everyone in the family to get to know each other better. It helps us be more tolerant towards each other’s characteristics and encourages academic achievement in younger children.

I know your family is busy, the older ones with their jobs or college; and the younger ones with school; but the emotional value of a quick meal cannot be compensated for in any other way.

Think of it this way, an average meal lasts only 20 minutes. Is it so difficult to gather together for 20 minutes? I assure you, it is not if you intentionally set them aside for your family. It does not even have to be seven days a week. Three or four meals are enough.

Why are family rituals so important?

Family rituals are created as a way to celebrate, to bond, and to highlight the special ties that bind us together. But in my opinion, the most important aspect is the power they have to create new experiences and positive memories for everyone. Rituals can nurture connections in the family and give a sense of belonging that cannot be found anywhere else.

This impact is much more noticeable in childhood because it is a delicate time in life where we seek to understand who we are and why we belong to the family. What is it that we share? What is the message it has? Why is it special? These are all very important questions to answer.

By performing a family ritual, your child will feel part of something important and extraordinary; that makes them unique and proud. It will also help them be more confident and more comfortable because these activities are familiar.

The benefits of family rituals

Do you still have doubts about whether continuing family rituals or creating new ones is a good idea? This reaches a higher level of importance as we are in December; since Christmas is a time of reflection and when sharing as a family is much greater than other times of the year.

  • They serve to create good memories: Family rituals are a source of fond memories that will last a lifetime. The more attention and dedication you give to them, the more inclined your children will be to continue them.
  • They provide safety due to their structure: Rituals are rituals because they follow a certain pattern each time they are performed. The fact that they are so predictable helps children feel confident and secure performing them.
  • Gives the family a sense of belonging: We all want to belong to something, and, as a family, it is the rituals that give us that unique character and that feeling of being part of something.
  • Other benefits: Additional benefits include the ability to transmit family and Christian values; as well as the ability to keep several generations interconnected.

 

Are you looking for professional help on this and other issues? Do not hesitate to call 407 618 0212.

All you need to know about family rituals

During this Christmas season, family rituals take on more importance than ever. December is a month to share in community, to celebrate Christian values and virtues; and strengthen loving bonds with the people who matter the most to us.

One way I like to describe family rituals is as the traditions that make us who we are and for which we are grateful. Many rituals originate from our great-grandparents and grandparents; as well as the festivities of our own country and cultures or those of our ancestors.

How can I strengthen family rituals? Which are the most popular or positive ones? Is it time to change old traditions? We have a lot to talk about regarding this topic.

What are family rituals?

Family rituals or rites are nothing more than traditions that are inherited in the family. These are based on the beliefs that family members have, and most commonly, are passed down from generation to generation. As a parent, if you associate a certain ritual with positive memories and good times, you will be more likely to continue them with your children.

As a family leader, you are able to create new rituals; and design new strategies to both entertain and educate your children.

I like that family members take advantage of their own traditions to implement healthy, loving, and beneficial habits for everyone. Even if no one understands them outside the family, it is still a gesture that is associated with the image of family togetherness.

Some of the most common family rituals

The world is full of so many perspectives and ways of looking at life that you may be surprised to learn that so many families perform the same rituals, just with a different face.

For example, using affectionate nicknames or code words that only you, in the family, understand, greetings with hand games in different forms, or Scripture reading sessions. You can also join in by preparing a special meal together on birthdays or going on vacation to a place that is important to you at a certain time of the year.

All of these activities can have so many variations in the frequency, timing, and ways in which they are done; that they become common, but also unique for each family.

There can be many other kinds of family traditions; such as volunteering in your community during the summer vacations, taking photographs in the same pose on a certain date; picking fruits and vegetables in the garden, having board game sessions once a week, etc.

Creativity has no limits, and as you have seen, each of these activities is meaningful, healthy, and will create precious family moments.

The important thing is that family rituals bring good values to your children and other family members. No one wants a ritual that makes them feel uncomfortable or uninterested. They are supposed to foster security, a sense of belonging, and self-identity.

Some of the best Christmas family rituals

For us Christians, Christmas is a time full of family rituals everywhere you look. Each year we celebrate Jesus Christ’s coming into the world; and it is a date generally abundant in symbolism and new opportunities.

Therefore, it is time to reinforce our traditions as followers of God, faithful to His Word.

Which Christmas family rituals correspond to these purposes?

  • Attending Christmas services as a family.
  • Studying verses that speak of the birth of Jesus.
  • Preparing food baskets for members who are in need in your community.
  • Writing letters full of good feelings and wishes for loved ones who will be far away.
  • Watching the family’s favorite Christmas movies.
  • Preparing your family’s traditional Christmas dishes.
  • Assembling the Christmas tree together, each choosing a part of the decoration that year.

How do I create my own rituals?

There aren’t many rules when it comes to creating your own family rituals; so I want to give you some useful tips on how to make them a reality:

  • Try to get everyone to like it: Sometimes, children will find it difficult to embrace these traditions because they do not understand the meaning behind them. But even if the first few times are difficult, as a parent, you should think about activities you know they will appreciate in the long run. Think about everyone in your family before considering a new ritual.
  • Do them frequently: Unless it is, for example, a Christmas ritual, you should repeat these traditions frequently so that they become a habit. Also, when it comes to Christmas rituals, do not even think about only doing them every other year, consistency is the key.
  • Make it fun: The best age to introduce family rituals is in childhood because it will be part of their memories from very tender moments. However, do not complicate things when creating new rituals. The basic principle is that they are fun. But above all, you should be able to learn something new every time they are performed.

How do I know if I should change a family ritual?

Your children will grow up, and as the years go by, you will notice that some family rituals are not as easy to perform as they were younger. Maybe your teenage son finds that special greeting you and him had a little too much to do it in public anymore; or your teenage daughter gets tired of watching the same movies every year.

Maybe they want to spend more time with their friends on vacations, or maybe, because of a change in your job, you, as a parent, will need to work on weekends. These are changes that life brings.

Is this the end of family rituals? No. It is not, because we must strive for new schedules that suit everyone and modify the activities that are no longer welcome. For example, if the greeting is too flashy for your son, you can simply modify it to be more modest. Or you can look together with your daughter for new Christmas movies that she might like.

I know it will make you nostalgic when a consensus is reached to completely modify some of the rituals; but it is inevitable and very necessary to follow the basic principle of them, which is that everyone should feel at home, grateful for the blessing of having the family they have.

Do you not know how to deal with family traditions without getting into conflicts? You can get professional help by calling 407 618 0212.