Love is the feeling that has most inspired human beings in absolutely all areas of life. Countless songs, books, plays and other works have been dedicated to love. However, it is very complex to identify when it is true love, given the predisposition we have to feel it.
The question that many people ask themselves is what does love feel like and how do I know if we are facing true love? The first answer, thanks to science, is a little easier. Love is a set of biological and chemical processes, as biologist and anthropologist Hellen Fisher explains.
Certain hormones are activated in our bodies when we feel love and make us feel good about sharing with our loved one. It is not only a sexual impulse, but involves many bodily functions. Thanks to this, we can achieve the recognition of a real feeling of love.
Keys to recognizing true love
Such is the importance of love in human behavior that researchers in various fields of knowledge have sought to find explanations. An empirical analysis of Sternberg’s triangular theory focuses on the combination of the three elements that identify balanced love. They are:
According to the researchers, true love must have all three components in the right measure, in order to be healthy and fruitful for both parties. In relation to these aspects, we bring you 10 signs so that you can recognize if what you feel for that special “someone” is true love.
1. It’s good for you and everyone notices it
The main key is well-being. As biologist Hellen Fisher explained, love produces positive changes in the body. If that person improves your mood, your spirits, you feel like getting ready, you feel good about yourself, it is probably true love.
2. You can be yourself
This is an extremely important point. Real love will not make you change; it will not force you to be who you are not. Rather, it will motivate you to grow as a person, as the person you already are. It will validate you even more and will never seek to extinguish your essence. If this is not the case, be careful, it may not be a healthy relationship.
3. You can talk to each other through looks or gestures
When there is trust between two people, communication is one of the points where it is most expressed. Understanding each other without words is a strong indicator that the connection is real, that you are developing a love language between you. You will see that it goes beyond words, too, to the actions of love.
4. You help and support each other
If there is love, there is mutual support. True love is unselfish and cares for the other as well as for oneself. In a couple, working for each other’s personal well-being will be the impetus for forming a healthy and lasting dynamic.
5. You respect each other
A very common problem in couples that do not work and where love is quickly extinguished is the lack of mutual respect. As hard as it may be at times, respecting each other’s time and God’s time in a couple is essential.
In Romans 12:10 the Bible tells us about the importance of respect in love. If you feel that with “that person” there is a sincere respect for each other’s times, ideas, ways of expressing yourself, tastes, etc., then it is love.
6. You strive to resolve every conflict
The best couples are not those who don’t fight, but those who strive to resolve every situation in the best possible way. Respect also plays a major role in conflict resolution. There should be no room for offence, anger is no justification for hurting your partner.
If there is love, every conflict will end with a resolution that brings you closer together and makes your relationship grow. The bond will be strengthened rather than fissured, and will bring you closer to a broader understanding of your values and responsibilities as partners.
7. You don’t complement each other, you understand each other
It is important to uproot the idea of complementarity in love and replace it with understanding. Romantic stories have shown us an ideal version of love that, in many cases, is not possible to live in reality. These expectations end up wearing out the partners and lead to disbelief in love.
An article from the Faculty of Psychology in Uruguay points out the importance of a love based on understanding between partners. We are not “better halves”, God created us complete and whole. What you should seek is to be in one spirit with each other and with God, so you will know that it is a love of blessing for you.
8. You laugh together easily
Scientific studies show how laughter is an indicator of love in a couple. It also reflects a healthy relationship and sincere feelings. It’s simple, laughter is associated with the ability to express ourselves freely, healthy situations that make us happy and good chemistry between the two of us. That’s love!
9. You don’t need to hide anything from each other
Of course love is based on trust and full knowledge of each other. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have “secrets” from time to time, a surprise or a plan for the future. It means that there are no aspects of your personality or your past that you seek to hide.
If you feel an obligation to hide it is because something is not right in the relationship or there is no real love. A relationship cannot give rise to lies or deception between partners, let alone fear of showing each other who you really are.
10. You have projects together
Finally, an indicator of love is creating projects together. When there is love, there is a desire to share every aspect of life and to plan new things together. If you try to include each other in every plan you make, it is because you truly love each other.
Analyze your relationship before moving on to the next step, so you will know for sure if it is true love. If you have any questions or concerns about this or other issues, don’t hesitate to call 407-618-0212 for expert care.