Let’s talk about a subject that is very important in human life: How to make peace with your past. When handled properly, it can be overcome, but when handled the wrong way, it can jeopardize relationships to the point of ending them and hurting people. We are talking about our past.
Why to make peace with your past
We all have had experiences that have marked us for good or for bad. Furthermore, we have good memories printed on our minds, moments, people, and places, but we all have bad memories too. They could even be traumatic ones.
Some people go through experiences we cannot even imagine, who have had difficult lives and need to process these experiences to overcome them and have a happy life. But, first, let’s see how our mind works in these scenarios.
How does your mind process traumatic experiences?
When an event overwhelms our ability to cope, either physically, mentally, or emotionally, we experience trauma, which can leave us feeling unsafe, helpless, and struggling with disturbing memories, emotions, and anxiety.
Trauma can change the way we perceive and experience the world and, for some people, can have lasting effects on how the brain and body respond to threat and stress. For some trauma survivors, after a disturbing or distressing event is over, the mind and body keep reacting as if the danger were still present, which can keep them in a state of hypervigilance. It is as if the mind is a soldier prepared for battle, on high alert, ready to face an enemy even though the war is over.
The symptoms of trauma
This scenario brings many symptoms that are not easy to handle. We might notice them, or we might not. The truth is that they can be there without us having the ability to relate them to what we are feeling inside, what we have in our minds, and the experiences we have dealt with. The symptoms of trauma can include:
- intrusive thoughts,
- anger,
- irritability,
- anxiety, and depression,
- guilt or shame,
- isolation or withdrawal from others,
- dissociation,
- feeling sadness or hopelessness,
- and feeling disconnected or numb,
- among others.
Trauma can also come with physical symptoms, such as sleep problems, headaches, digestive problems, and others. Any physical symptom deserves a medical check-up.
In simple terms, psychological trauma can lead the brain to activate mental alarm systems and defenses to protect itself from the perceived threat. The emotional response center of the brain, the amygdala, connects to the sympathetic nervous system. It is responsible for our fight, flight, or freeze response.
When the amygdala activates in response to trauma, it prepares us to escape or confront the threat or attack. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for regulating attention, awareness, and reasoning, can be affected by a trauma response, which may lead to difficulty paying attention and making decisions. It can also affect the hippocampus, the part of the brain associated with memory and learning, sometimes leading to problems in those areas. This is a simplified picture of a complex area of research.
Why you should make peace with your past
Being in a constant state of fear, hypervigilance, or hyperarousal consumes a great deal of energy and focus, which can lead to mental and physical exhaustion, and potentially manifests itself as physical health issues.
Carrying trauma can impact our ability to trust others, and therefore our ability to build and maintain healthy relationships, including preventing us from fulfilling intimate relationships. While we live in the past, our memories will continue to drive behaviors that sabotage our life and hold back our freedom and the life we deserve.
However, the good news is that trauma symptoms can improve. Effective treatments exist, and the brain keeps its ability to change throughout life, which is called neuroplasticity. With the right treatment and support, many people are able to:
- make peace with their past,
- regain a sense of control over their lives,
- and learn to feel safe again, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
When you make peace with your past
As you heal from past trauma, your relationships can improve, first with yourself as you restore trust and build self-confidence, and also with the people you care about. Many people feel more engaged in life and find greater joy, meaning, and purpose.
Do you identify with some of these symptoms? Did you know that the way we process our experiences can have an impact on the way our brain and body work? You do not need to share details of what you went through in public: talking with someone you trust or with a professional is a good first step. God bless you.
Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.
If you are in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, do not wait. Call or text 988 (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24 hours a day, free and confidential). If there is immediate danger, call 911.
This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.
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