Do you want to know how you can have more intimacy to keep the spark alive in your marriage? Long-term relationships, such as marriage, generate very close bonds that require attention and effort all the time. With this, I do not mean that they take a lot of work, but they definitely do not work automatically.
It is necessary for the parties involved to devote some time to intimacy to relive that feeling they had in the beginning.
Avoiding the problem while you are scrolling through your social networks or pretending to sleep, will not fix this situation. In fact, you will only make it worse. It is extremely important that you know that with proper communication, effort and understanding, you can redirect your relationship to the right path.
Do not miss this article with all the information you need to know about how to keep the spark alive in your marriage. You will also find more interesting facts here. Let’s take a look!
Is it possible to keep the spark alive after years of marriage?
The reality is that keeping the spark alive is an ongoing task because it is necessary, so we don’t fall back into that feeling of monotony and lack of intimacy. However, it is entirely possible to keep it alive if you are aware that there is a problem, and you want to improve the situation for the sake of the relationship.
On the other hand, without a doubt, sex is something that can help keep the intimacy in a couple. It is well known that intimacy has different stages of evolution over the years.
Over the years, the surprises of being with the spouse decrease, and the arrival of children can also be a factor that reduces intimacy. With daily activities and chores, childcare, work and more, there is practically no room left for intimacy between spouses. And, this can be harmful in the long run, and can even cause separations.
Keeping the spark alive and intimacy are necessary tasks for both spouses, which are not impossible to achieve. Without a doubt, they certainly require effort, but results are very satisfying for both parties involved.
What obstacles may get in the way?
It is also important to consider other factors. For example, work, family problems, or financial concerns can also drain your energy significantly. This can drive a wedge between partners.
Another difficulty that often arises is that feeling of inequality that appears in some marriages. That feeling of imbalance of power between partners. To solve this problem properly, it is essential to communicate and understand each other through empathy. Another positive approach is to share how your day went with each other. This will help the other person have a better understanding of how you’re feeling.
It should also be a common goal for both partners to become each other’s confidant. Confiding in your spouse can help you feel safe and loved and will improve your desire to do things together.
How can I improve intimacy with my partner and keep the spark alive?
As we have already mentioned in this article, skills such as communication, understanding, attention and empathy are fundamental tools. Next, I will mention some tips to keep the spark alive in your marriage and solve the difficulties you may have. Let’s take a look!
Express your desires
To express what truly motivates you and leads you to have intimacy, you need to identify it first. Know yourself, explore and discover new things that motivate you to have intimacy and then share them with your partner.
Focus on intimacy
While you have already acknowledged that there is an intimacy-related problem, the solution lies in the desire and effort to leave that problem behind. Pay attention and take the initiative at times to kindle the spark in your marriage.
Date your spouse
Having a free night every now and then can be very helpful in these cases. You can take advantage of that time with your partner by going out to have dinner together or by going to places that you both enjoy, thus, keeping the spark alive in the best possible way.
Look your best
It is true that, as the relationship grows, the sensual side of it is affected. But, you should know that this is not an obstacle that prevents you from surprising your partner again, if you want to do so. Looking good and feeling good about ourselves is something we all notice.
Redefine Intimacy
If you think that when talking about sexuality in a marriage, the only option is intercourse, then you should know that you have many new worlds to discover. Hugs, massages, caresses, redefining what can be done in this type of situation will open new paths.
Intimacy only works when both people freely agree: no one should feel pressured, and a “no” deserves respect. If a lack of desire, pain or another physical difficulty lasts, talk with your doctor or a qualified counselor; many causes can be treated.
As you can see, there is a number of things you can do to keep the spark alive in your marriage. You just have to take your first steps and start paying attention to the details so that everything falls back into place.
Feeling truly alive in a marriage is vital for its success. So, without a doubt, it is worth dedicating time for intimacy.
Spark and intimacy
Now you know more ways and tools to keep the spark alive and improve intimacy in your relationship. Remember that communication and understanding between both parties will be vital to reach an agreement and solve any hiccups.
If you have more questions on this topic, you are welcome to ask.
What is one small way you could invite closeness with your spouse this week?
Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.
If there is violence in your home
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. These lines are free and confidential.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. Available 24/7.
- If you are thinking of harming yourself: call or text 988 (press 2 for Spanish).
This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.
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