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When the ground you thought was solid starts to shift, it is hard to know how to keep going. It might be an illness, a loss, a money crisis, or news that changes everything. In moments like these, stress rises, and that does not make you weak. It is a normal response to uncertainty.

Many people ask themselves the same question: how do I keep from going under? There is no magic formula, but there are small steps you can take today. As a pastor, I believe none of them asks you to pretend you are fine. Let’s look at them.

What is stress?

Stress is the physical or mental response to an external cause, such as having a lot of homework or having an illness. It can be a one-time event or something that happens repeatedly over a long time.

Think of your phone’s battery. If you use it for a while and recharge it, it keeps working well. If you leave it running for days without charging it, it shuts off. A little pressure can help you act. The problem is when the pressure does not let up.

Short-term stress and stress that stays

A little short-term stress can sometimes help. It gets you moving to do what needs to be done.

Stress that lasts for weeks, months, or longer is something else. Stress hormones can raise your blood pressure and heart rate, and the body acts as if it were always in danger. When this goes on for a long time, it can affect your health.

Here are some signs that stress can leave behind:

  • Excessive worry or uneasiness
  • Tension, headaches, or body pain
  • Loss of sleep
  • High blood pressure

High blood pressure usually has no symptoms: it can only be found with a measurement. So if you are living under a lot of stress, ask to have it checked. And if the other signs keep coming back, talk with your doctor.

When you feel nothing will change

Sometimes stress comes with a feeling of helplessness, as if nothing you do could move your situation. If that feeling stays with you, do not carry it in silence. Talk with your doctor or a mental health professional.

The 6 steps

Step 1: Talk with God

If you can, begin your day in prayer. Not so that everything is solved right away, but to place before him what you feel. Tell him honestly how you are: tired, afraid, angry. He can receive all of it.

Three ways to begin today:

  • Before you look at your phone, stay quiet for 1 minute and say softly: “Lord, this is how I come today.”
  • Write one honest prayer on a sheet of paper, even if it is only two lines, and read it out loud.
  • Pick a fixed moment, such as when you sit down to eat, to pray one short sentence.

Praying and seeing a professional do not oppose each other. They fit in the same life of faith.

Step 2: Put one corner in order

When you live under stress, the basics are the first thing to be neglected, and the disorder outside often mirrors the disorder inside. Do not try to change everything. Choose just one thing for this week:

  • Tidy one small space, like the kitchen table or a drawer, for 10 minutes.
  • Eat your meals at regular times, without skipping any.
  • Get ready today for what you will need tomorrow morning: your clothes, your keys, your breakfast.

One is enough for now. When it becomes a habit, add another.

Step 3: Give yourself small comforts

Eat something you enjoy, take a quiet shower, listen to your favorite song. Or call a friend for 10 minutes and talk about anything except the problem. Set aside about 15 or 20 minutes a day for one of these. They do not solve the underlying problem, but they remind you that you are still a person and not just a to-do list.

Step 4: Limit the news

Being informed is good; flooding yourself with heavy news is not. You do not need to find out everything every hour. Choose one or two times a day to catch up, and look for reliable sources. With the time you gain, step out into the yard, get some fresh air, or play with your kids.

Step 5: Ask for professional help if you need it

If you are struggling to cope, or if the symptoms will not go away, it may be time to talk with a professional. Asking for help is not a lack of faith or of character. It is a sensible step.

To take the first step: write down what you have noticed and since when, and call your doctor or a therapist to ask for an appointment.

Step 6: Help others

Paul recalled the words of Jesus: “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'” (Acts 20:35, NIV) In your own words: giving brings blessing.

This is my opinion as a pastor, not a study finding: when we focus on someone else, even for a moment, our own worries stop taking up all the space. Keep it small and concrete. This week, write a short note of encouragement to someone you know is having a hard time. Or take a meal to a neighbor, or give an hour to help at your church. Choose something you can follow through on and, if you are worn out, start with the smallest thing.

A question for you

Almost no one gets through a season like this without feeling worn down. Take one step today, just one. Which trusted person could walk beside you this week?

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

Sources

  • National Institute of Mental Health. (n.d.). I’m so stressed out! Fact sheet (NIH Publication No. 20-MH-8125; the page gives no date). NIMH. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/so-stressed-out-fact-sheet
  • MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine. (2023, October 20). Stress. MedlinePlus. https://medlineplus.gov/stress.html
  • MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine. (2026, January 22). High blood pressure | Hypertension. MedlinePlus. https://medlineplus.gov/highbloodpressure.html
  • New International Version. (2011). Acts 20:35. BibleGateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+20%3A35&version=NIV

Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used with permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Published by Dr. Efrain Duany, LMFT-S

Dr. Efrain Duany, LMFT-S is a pastor, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT-S), autor, motivational speaker, coach, relationship expert, and adjunct professor. His mission is to be a godly pastor, using his talents and skills to build healthy family relationships to expand the kingdom of God.

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