During this Christmas season, family rituals take on more importance than ever. December is a month to share in community, to celebrate Christian values and virtues, and to strengthen loving bonds with the people who matter most to us.
One way I like to describe family rituals is as the traditions that make us who we are and for which we are grateful. Many rituals originate with our great-grandparents and grandparents, as well as with the festivities of our own country and culture or those of our ancestors.
How can I strengthen family rituals? Which are the most popular or positive ones? Is it time to change old traditions? We have a lot to talk about on this topic.
What are family rituals?
Family rituals or rites are traditions that are inherited in the family. They are based on the beliefs that family members share and, most commonly, are passed down from generation to generation. As a parent, if you associate a certain ritual with positive memories and good times, you will be more likely to continue it with your children.
As a family leader, you are able to create new rituals and design new ways to both entertain and educate your children.
I like it when family members use their own traditions to build healthy, loving, and beneficial habits for everyone. Even if no one outside the family understands them, they remain a gesture that is associated with the image of family togetherness.
Some of the most common family rituals
The world is full of perspectives and ways of looking at life, so you may be surprised to learn how many families practice the same rituals, just with a different face.
For example, using affectionate nicknames or code words that only your family understands, greetings with hand games in different forms, or Scripture reading sessions. You can also prepare a special meal together on birthdays or go on vacation to a place that is important to you at a certain time of the year.
All of these activities can vary so much in frequency, timing, and the ways in which they are done that they become common, but also unique to each family.
There are many other kinds of family traditions, such as volunteering in your community during summer vacations, taking photographs in the same pose on a certain date, picking fruits and vegetables in the garden, or having a board game night once a week.
Creativity has no limits, and as you have seen, each of these activities is meaningful, healthy, and can create precious family moments.
The important thing is that family rituals bring good values to your children and other family members. No one wants a ritual that makes them feel uncomfortable or uninterested. They are meant to foster security, a sense of belonging, and self-identity.
Some of the best Christmas family rituals
For us Christians, Christmas is a time full of family rituals everywhere you look. Each year we celebrate Jesus Christ’s coming into the world, and it is a date generally abundant in symbolism and new opportunities.
Therefore, it is a good time to reinforce our traditions as followers of God, faithful to His Word.
Which Christmas family rituals correspond to these purposes?
- Attending Christmas services as a family.
- Studying verses that speak of the birth of Jesus.
- Preparing food baskets for people in need in your community.
- Writing letters full of good feelings and wishes for loved ones who will be far away.
- Watching the family’s favorite Christmas movies.
- Preparing your family’s traditional Christmas dishes.
- Assembling the Christmas tree together, each choosing a part of the decoration that year.
How do I create my own rituals?
There aren’t many rules when it comes to creating your own family rituals, so I want to give you some useful tips on how to make them a reality:
- Try to get everyone to like it: Sometimes children will find it difficult to embrace these traditions because they do not understand the meaning behind them. But even if the first few times are difficult, as a parent you can think about activities you know they will appreciate in the long run. Think about everyone in your family before considering a new ritual.
- Do them frequently: Unless it is, for example, a Christmas ritual, repeat these traditions frequently so that they become a habit. When it comes to Christmas rituals, do not settle for doing them only every other year; consistency is the key.
- Make it fun: Childhood is a wonderful time to introduce family rituals, because they become part of children’s memories from very tender moments. However, do not complicate things when creating new rituals. The basic principle is that they are fun. And, if possible, let there be something new to learn each time they are performed.
How do I know if I should change a family ritual?
Your children will grow up, and as the years go by you will notice that some family rituals are not as easy to perform as they were when the children were younger. Maybe your teenage son finds that special greeting you and he had a little too much to do in public anymore, or your teenage daughter gets tired of watching the same movies every year.
Maybe they want to spend more time with their friends on vacations, or maybe, because of a change in your job, you will need to work on weekends. These are changes that life brings.
Is this the end of family rituals? No. We can look for new schedules that suit everyone and modify the activities that are no longer welcome. For example, if the greeting is too flashy for your son, you can simply modify it to be more modest. Or you can look together with your daughter for new Christmas movies that she might like.
I know it will make you nostalgic when a consensus is reached to completely modify some of the rituals, but it is inevitable and very necessary in order to follow their basic principle, which is that everyone should feel at home, grateful for the blessing of having the family they have.
Which tradition in your family is worth keeping just as it is, and which one could use a gentle update so that everyone feels at home?
Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.
This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.
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