3 ways to prevent child abuse

5 min readPublished on June 4, 2021

Stories of child abuse can be found everywhere. Many children wait to tell, or never tell, sometimes because someone has told them to keep it secret.

Child abuse and neglect happen in every community, and in every kind of family and institution. According to the CDC, about 90% of child sexual abuse is committed by someone known and trusted by the child or the child’s family, and many children wait to report it or never report it. What concerns me the most is that sometimes an abuser tries to use the church as a haven to continue the abuse. Abuse is found in churches too.

In this post, I would like to talk to parents about three little-known ways to help prevent child abuse. Our children will not know about child abuse unless they are taught. For this reason, parents need to make home a safe place for their children. Parents must create an atmosphere of trust and security where they can talk openly about difficult, but age-appropriate topics. After creating an atmosphere at home where the child feels safe and secure, you can teach your children to say NO to inappropriate touching, bad secrets, and strangers.

Say NO to inappropriate touching

Parents can teach their children the following: “my body is mine.” Our children need to know from an early age which parts of their body are private, and that they can say NO and tell a trusted adult when someone tries to touch them. Be age-appropriate: explain that a doctor or nurse may examine them with a parent present, and that parents may help a young child with bathing. Teach your child to report any touching that feels uncomfortable or wrong, even if it is by a family member, teacher, coach, pastor, or church official.

Say NO to bad secrets

Explain to your child that there are good and bad secrets. The good secrets come from things that you love and wish to receive, such as gifts, surprises, etc. The bad secrets are the unpleasant ones. If someone touches your body in secret, or asks you to hide something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it is a bad secret and needs to be told to a trusted adult. As a parent, you need to keep the line of communication open with your children, so they can come to you with difficult subjects, such as abuse.

Say NO to strangers

Even though most children who are sexually abused are abused by someone they know, it is still wise to teach your child about safety with people they do not know. Just as important, teach your child that adults who respect them will respect their “no.”

These three pieces of advice can help children speak up, but they cannot guarantee protection: keeping children safe is the responsibility of adults, and abuse is never a child’s fault. Keep in mind that there are other forms of abuse, such as being exposed to sexual acts or sexually explicit materials not intended for minors, as well as indecent exposure. Encourage your child to talk to designated safe adults any time they feel unsafe.

If your child tells you about abuse

Stay calm. Tell your child that it is not their fault and that you are glad they told you. Do not question them repeatedly and do not try to investigate on your own; repeated questioning can make things harder for the child and for the investigation. Make sure the child is safe and report what you know. In Florida, anyone who suspects child abuse can call the Florida Abuse Hotline at 1-800-962-2873, and you do not need proof, only reasonable suspicion. If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. Then get professional help for the child right away.

The first thing to do for a child who has been abused is to make sure the child is safe and to report the abuse; then get professional help right away. Psalm 127:3 describes children as a heritage from the Lord. We are responsible before the Lord for our children. Let’s protect them by providing a safe place at home where they can feel secure, and by being the kind of adults who listen.

Let’s teach them that they can say NO to inappropriate touching, bad secrets, and unsafe situations, and that they can always tell us.

What is one thing you can do this week so your child knows, with no doubt, that they can tell you anything? May God bless you and your family.

Would you like to talk with a professional? Call (407) 559-7093 (Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern) or find professional help here. For general questions that are not an emergency, write to drduany@zodugroup.com. Please do not send health information by email.

If you are in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, do not wait. Call or text 988 (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24 hours a day, free and confidential). If there is immediate danger, call 911.

If you suspect child abuse

Florida Abuse Hotline (DCF): 1-800-962-2873, 24/7. You can also report online at reportabuse.myflfamilies.com/s/. It covers child abuse and abuse of vulnerable adults. If there is immediate danger, call 911.

This article is for education only. It does not offer diagnosis or personal advice, does not replace evaluation or treatment by a health professional, and reading it or writing to us through this site does not create a therapeutic or pastoral counseling relationship. This site is not an emergency service and is not monitored continuously: do not send health information through comments or public forms. The author is a licensed psychotherapist and pastor, and is part of ZODU.

Sources

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, About Child Sexual Abuse (cdc.gov/child-abuse-neglect/about/about-child-sexual-abuse.html), opened 2026-10-24.
Florida Department of Children and Families, Abuse Hotline (myflfamilies.com/services/abuse/abuse-hotline).